Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Randomize
