Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
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