oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
