I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Found your dick twin last night
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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