Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
