I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Randomize
