No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
