soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
