I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
