awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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