these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize