ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
