You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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