So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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