I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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