I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
