did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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