I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Randomize
