I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
