So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
i will never coherently bang her
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
