I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
