Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize