I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
We have started to decorate penises.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
