Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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