if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
