What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
