not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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