every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
