it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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