return my video game
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
