i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
