I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize