I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
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