Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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