how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
