girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
