You really coming over, don't trick.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Randomize
