Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
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