Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
