all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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