when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
