Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
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