If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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