he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize
