the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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