You made me cry and you don't even care
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
