Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Sorry about my life...
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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