I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
