I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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