Whats the count minus fat chicks?
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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