Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
