Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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