make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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