Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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