Yo dont text me then not text me
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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