I love black thongs
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
