is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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