D3 body, D1 cock
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize