if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
she looked like the before picture.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
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