It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
