I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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