So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize