I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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