I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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