Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
