dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Did I show you my penis last night?
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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