You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
