You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Randomize
