i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
