someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
