hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
