i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
