haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
