Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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