i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
