her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
